*work overtime, . . .

Because I'm awesome and have to take the bar again or essentially waste the last 7 years of higher education, I'm facing the daunting task of paying for everything all over again.

My bar application is due November 1st and with it another application fee payable to my state of choice. To pay this ridiculous fee to tell them things I told them 6 months ago I picked up some shifts at work. I was sacrificing 3-1130pm for the next 12 days to make extra moolah with Uncle Rico. No such luck. My boss stuck around until I got to work yesterday. . . Due to a poor quarterly performance, all OT has been forbidden.

Now, I have 2 days off this week. . . But no extra monies.

Rejection. Like a boss.

*Fail the Bar. . .

I got the results from the July Bar a few weeks ago. I failed by one multiple choice question.

This last week I purchased 2500 large notecards in an attempt to dominate in February. Although, I'm not sure that will make it any better.

In the mean time, rejection letters keep on coming. Perfect. This may be the definition of being kicked while you're down.

My entire life is slowly becoming one giant pool of comedic one liners.

*Feel Awesome Feelings About Life. . .

Before I sat for the Bar I applied to a bunch of non-law jobs. I understand the economic climate is less than ideal, but I also realize I have bills that want paid. Apparently creditors don't care about your personal financial crisis and just want paid. . . Who would've guessed.

Recognizing the need for monies to repay student loans, I was being proactive. Today I received the vaguest rejection letter in the mail to date. Te job required a bachelors. . . In anything. What do you know, I have one of those. The job posting also said a masters was preferred. Oh, I have one of those, too. The letter said after reviewing all applications they didn't find one qualified person and were going to continue their search to fill the position.

They did, however, find it in them to muster up a sentence about thanking me for spending time filling out their application and for being interested in the position. . . And my ultimate favorite -- they wished me luck in my endeavors. Thank you.

Rejection. Like a boss.

*Handle Job Re-Posts. . .

For a short period of time during my law school career I worked at a department store one summer. It was mostly a bust. After buying things with my 25% employee discount on top of sale prices, I essentially broke even with what I made v. What I spent in the store. I wasn't all bad -- I got some nice things at rock bottom prices, but didn't really bring money home . . . Which is sort of the point of having a job.

During my search I stumbled back to their website and looked for current openings, I applied for a few and never heard back. I know I got to work on time, I stayed late to help others count down their register a lot of nights, and I know I wasn't there very long but I never called in. I thought for sure I'd at least be considered.

If they did consider me for any of the 3 positions I applied for, they never told me. Today I see that all 3 jobs are still available and listed as "new today" on the job search website I use. Warm fuzzies.

Rejection. Like a boss.

*Apply for Jobs, . . .

When I first started applying for jobs I kept meticulous records. I put down where I applied, the date, and if there was a contact person I could follow up with . . . Then I marked if I actually followed up. However, due to the increased usage of the Internet for applications, there generally isn't a specified contact person and the box you click at the end says something along the lines of, ". . . I agree that if found to be a suitable candidate I will be contacted directly, otherwise I may not hear from XYZ company. . ." yep. Got it.

These days I'm still applying but I just send them out. It's waaayyy too much of a let down to keep making that list only to realize that I haven't even been called or an interview once. An undergrad degree, doctorate, and a masters and I can't even get an interview. Money well spent. Like a boss.

*Receive a Phone Call Asking if You Know of Others that Might Like a Job . . .

I received an unsolicited phone call from a local employer this afternoon. I have never filed an application at this particular employer, nor have I set foot in a job fair where they had a booth, nor have I made any sort of plea with any of their employees hoping that I could one day be lucky enough to work there. After the introductions were made the possible employer told me that she knew I was a recent graduate of the University and asked if I knew anyone that was looking for a job in the area? Me. I am looking. So . . . I told her just that. Giggles.

When Ms. Giggles was done having a laugh at what felt like my expense, she told me I'm not their typical candidate but thought maybe I would know some people that might be interested in the type of work they perform. So, not only was I not being offered this job, but I was also being asked to do . . . her job?

I should send her a bill for services rendered. My time is . . . valuable.

Rejection. Like a boss.

*Hang Christmas Lights . . .

I don't even know if I can really consider myself unemployed at this point. I voluntarily left a full-time job to attend grad school and now I just can't FIND a job. I don't have unemployment benefits, nor do I have a child to feed. I have a bruised ego and a bedroom in my mom's basement. Living the dream.

However, I'm past my quarter century birthday and there are things I want -- a car that locks in the winter and has a/c in the summer, a bathtub with jets, a restored colonial with big pillars out front that look spectacular wrapped in real evergreen swags and poinsettia flowers and Christmas lights. . . Christmas lights!

Then I Googled (yeah, it's a verb. Get me a Mad Lib stat and I'll Google you some silly cat food next to the hairy lady...) several phrases about hanging Christmas lights outside. No one can ever find their inner Clark W. Griswold and get excited about finding a non snow/ice covered section to hang 10 feet of lights before having to move the ladder again and it's generally so cold no one wants to do it anyway. And then there's the tear down. Why not profit off that?

Apparently there is a claim out there, unverified by Snopes so I'm not sure of its truth, that some man made $33,000 hanging Christmas lights in October November, and December. His fee included a 4-man crew and tear down within a reasonable time frame after Christmas. Brilliant. However, I'm not sure there is really a market for it here, nor do I know of 3 other unemployed suckers that would want to brave a typical Midwestern winter to create a tiny nest egg.

Rejection. Like a boss.

*Handle Multiple Rejection E-mails from the Same Employer. . .

Lately I find myself wishing that out of these hundreds of jobs I've applied for they would at least take the time to acknowledge they received my information but chose to go another direction. Feedback would be wonderful. I guess I should be careful what I wish for.

I applied for a Compliance Manager position with a national corporation around May. "After carefully reviewing" my application and resume, they chose to consider other applicants. A let down, but I appreciated the courtesy email so at the very least I could stop wondering if I had a chance. A few weeks later, I received another email telling me the same thing. That very same week, I received a physical rejection letter from the same company, for the same position.

Yesterday I received another email thanking me for my interest in their company, but they were considering other applicants. Very same job I applied for in May, very same application period. It wasn't as if the person hired didn't work out and they chose to reconsider me, from what I can tell it's still the same posting number as it was in May.

At this point I'm not sure if I should email them back and tell them I understand that I'm no longer being considered and this is teetering on the edge of mocking. . . Or if I just chalk it up to the wonders of technology and then silently thank Al Gore for inventing the Internet and thus the Internet based application process this company is using.

Rejection. Like a boss.

*Deal with Human Resource Personnel. . .

I received an amazing phone call today -- someone wanted to hire me! I started to get excited, and then they asked me if I could email or fax a copy of my diploma so they could verify I was qualified for the job. In my most professional sounding voice I asked which diploma they wanted? Undergrad? One of my grad school diplomas? No. High school.

The HR lady must have sensed my confusion and asked me what my name was. I told her . . . and she said she was very sorry but had called the wrong person.

Rejection. Like a boss.